The problem with domestic violence is real.
Gender socialization continues to play a major role in this matter. Men are trained to be strong and never to show emotion, they are also never to cry. However, women are socialized to be meek, demure, to be in the kitchen, to be emotional and to be compassionate. This kind of upbringing gradually morphs into a narrative where when men advance in years and lose control in other areas of their lives like their education or their finances, they take the frustrations out in a different manner than women normally would. If something does not go right, they want to regain that power and control in some other aspect of their lives, albeit in a disastrous approach.
They take out their frustrations on the people closest to them. The desire and need for control is so strong, most men simply have to have at least one area of their lives where they are in control when they are physically present in that chosen environment and especially when they are not. When men are socialized to always block out their weaknesses, the easiest thing to put out there is anger and disrespect toward those who can. I do not seek to criminalize men. Women can be abusers too, in even more creative ways.
They take out their frustrations on the people closest to them. The desire and need for control is so strong, most men simply have to have at least one area of their lives where they are in control when they are physically present in that chosen environment and especially when they are not. When men are socialized to always block out their weaknesses, the easiest thing to put out there is anger and disrespect toward those who can. I do not seek to criminalize men. Women can be abusers too, in even more creative ways.
Many people, who have never been victims themselves, never understand why victims stay.
Many of these victims say this unhealthy loyalty stems from various reasons ranging from the fear of losing their children to financial instability if they set out to be alone.
Many of these victims say this unhealthy loyalty stems from various reasons ranging from the fear of losing their children to financial instability if they set out to be alone.
Abusers come in all shapes in sizes. They usually appear like the nicest people. It is always so easy to be carried away. It takes a high level of discernment to be able to recognize a potential abuser when one sees one. What abusers really first look for in their victims is lack of selfassuredness. They stay well away from confident, well-informed, powerful and strong women. If you are a woman who knows what she wants, abusers do not want to be anywhere near you because it is hard work to manipulate or pummel you into submission or fear of their presence.
Their victims are women who usually always try to keep peace; women always make excuses for their abusers because they are naturally trusting and forgiving. These women believe they can change their abusers with their love and support.
Because the abusers continue to feel a sense of power or control, they never really change.
When they are depressed, their women are on the receiving end. Victims deflect onlookers who try to help them get out of such relationships from the negatives and focus on the positives. They
usually remain very hopeful until they see they are really on a rollercoaster.
When they are depressed, their women are on the receiving end. Victims deflect onlookers who try to help them get out of such relationships from the negatives and focus on the positives. They
usually remain very hopeful until they see they are really on a rollercoaster.
What parents need to do, instead of telling their children when to cry or when not to, is to raise strong, confident, self-assured children who truly know themselves and know the kind of energy they send off into the world.
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